January 24th, 2017

Hospice Massage:Sacred Space

I started working for Hospice a year ago. Two hundred and sixty seven visits later, I am humbled by this work. There have been many times during my professional life as a massage therapist that have touched my heart and reaffirmed my choice of careers. But none compare to the moments I have experienced while working with those who are dying. Over and over again, I am granted entrance into the sacred space of families who are immersed in the journey towards death. I have found that in most cases, this space is carefully contained to include only those people who are closest to the patient. Each day that I walk into this bubble, I transform into the very best version of myself; knowing intuitively what to say, how to act and how to touch. What I have learned is immeasurable and perhaps indescribable.  These are but a few of the lessons:

• Every patient I meet will die
• It is easy to get caught up in the hopes of caregivers
• I experience Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s Stages of Grief over and over again.
• The car is a good place to cry
• Every visit is different
• Presence is more important than technique
• I must be willing to be adaptable or “make do”
• There are moments when my heart breaks
• Sometimes I have no idea of what I am doing
• Opening emails that report a patients passing can leave me staring at my computer screen in disbelief
• Every patient dies
• Every person deserves to be touched with love
• Every person is beautiful
• Time is relative
• Family is the single most important thing in life
• I don’t have to fix anything
• Eye contact is more important than the words I say
• Remaining silent is often the best choice
• Music calms the body
• Intention matters
• Saying good-bye is important
• Everything I learned about body mechanics is thrown out the window
• Running my hands through a patients hair is enough
• A massage session is 90% love 10% massage